Waiting for forever
by ButlerBassandSalvatore
Summary: He didn't mean to be a monster, he wasn't born one, he just became that way. Past, present and future Damon who fights for what he always had to hold onto really tight since it had a tendency to be snatched away.


_**Sometimes**_

_**He didn't mean to be a monster, he wasn't born one, he just became that way. And when she's there, Damon is anything but. When she's there, he's home again and without her he's anything but. Past, present and future Damon who fights for what he always had to hold onto really tight since it had a tendency to be snatched away.**_

_**Written because Damon is an amazingly complex character and while occasionally likable Stefan is such an old bore. A length of the past, something of the present and maybe one day there will be that awesome future. Don't stop holding onto hope.**_

_**Don't own though I wish I did.**_

_**.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.**_

_**"You can tell yourself that you would be willing to lose everything you have in order to get something you want. But it's a catch-22: all of those things you're willing to lose are what make you recognizable. Lose them, and you've lost yourself."  
>— (Handle with Care)<strong>_

"_**The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him.**_

.-.-.-.-.

When Damon was five years old he lost his everything.

When Damon was five years old he found his everything.

When Damon was five he crawled into his mother's sweaty, welcoming arms for one final time and just sank his small, dark head there. She caressed his dark hair lovingly and whispered to him, "You'll be brave won't you Damon? You'll be a bold, brave boy?"

He lay quite still and then shook his head.

"No." And he buried his face against her beating heart.

"My brave, brave boy," she whispered her voice a thread. "You have to do this for me. You will won't you? You'll do this one thing for me? I never asked you for anything before."

He shook his head resolutely his face still hidden.

"Damon, _please…."_

The thread was barely there and he held onto her tighter because he knew the second his grip slacked; he'd loose what he loved the most in the whole world.

"I love you."

The words were so familiar then, on his lips, so- customary. He had told her every day at least once that he loved her and she told him a thousand times more and she kissed his cheeks and took him in her arms and showed him treetops and bluebird nests and spotted eggs and dripping suns and pointy stars and when the mother bird came to bring food to the babies they all squabbled together and sang and fought-

"Then promise me," she said softly, her eyes gentle green and tender. "Promise me you'll be brave?"

When Damon was five he looked into the sweaty pallor of the face he loved, the face he hated to say those words to, but instead of promising he blurted out in a moment of true fear.

"Don't leave me-"

She cried quietly but smiled as she stroked back a few stubborn black locks away from his pale face.

"I will always love you," she said. "I'll never stop loving you. How could I? Do you know how special you are my darling? Do you know how brave you are? There's no one like you."

"If I was better- if I was less naughty- you'd love me more- you'd stay."

"Damon." She looked up at him and raised her head, even if it cost her great effort. "I love you now. Exactly the way you are."

He shook his head. He buried his face back in her arms.

"It's his entire fault."

"Take care of him," she seemed not to hear him as she kissed the words into his messy, glossy hair. "Take care of your little brother. Take care of Stefan. Take care of each other."

And when the nurse laid the newborn, crying baby in his mother's arms Damon detested him for ruining the moment.

"My little Stefan," his mother kissed his forehead now and Damon hated it, hated loosing whatever little he had left to what he was supposed to take care of. "I love you too. I always will. I love you both, my young Salvatore's."

So much love that wasn't enough to move a mountain, to save a breath, to save Damon's everything.

She fell asleep with Damon still holding her so tight and with the baby tucked in her side. He held on and on and when the nurse tried to pry him away he screamed and shouted and cursed her for trying to take his mother away from him, she was not to leave him, he loved her, he needed her, he could not bear this agony of loosing the one he loved-

He had known letting her go would cost him never being able to touch her again and he was right. Damon swore to never love his brother, never love the beast that had cost him too much.

The baby had gentle green eyes that were always tender, that were always too soft with love. Her eyes. But he- he must have taken that away when he took Damon's everything away. It was all stealth, just a hint of how much the thief had stolen.

The world showered the baby with love and Damon watched in a dark corner, hating, resolving.

…..

Elena lay too close to him on that couch of hers as they watched _Silence of the Lambs._

She shuddered. "This is a gross movie."

"Then why are we watching it?"

"It's the last thing on Jeremy's movie rack."

"Well, I'm here to hold you tight anytime you get a bit too-"

She pushed him and he laughed.

"You're gross."

"Then why are you watching this with me?"

She scowled even as she didn't budge an inch away from him on that tiny couch.

"You have vampire strength. When things get too- just shut it- close it okay?"

"Elena, seriously, _why_ are you watching this?"

She seemed to inch closer to him almost unconsciously.

"Because I've never been able to- and I'm sick of Stefan telling me how- just keep your hand on the remote okay?"

He rolled his eyes and threw his arm around her over the couch almost carelessly even though he was perfectly aware of the few inches of space between them and when the first real horror scene erupted she drew into him, just a breath closer and he murmured, "Yet?" and she seemed to jump, realizing he was there, too close.

"No," she said, relaxing into the couch and not drawing away, "Not yet."

And when she squealed after the first scene he squealed with her. And when she grabbed his hand thoughtlessly in the middle of the movie, he didn't even make a lecherous remark. And when she faced him beaming at the end, saying it wasn't so bad after all he didn't even remark on how she had nearly broken his vampire fingers during the worst of it. Because she still didn't seem to have realized she was holding his hand.

And when they were saying goodbye and she said softly, "Thanks for watching it with me Damon,"

He just smirked and said, "Your trusty bodyguard, remember? Calm in crisis."

Even when he really wanted to say, _thanks for having me._

_So much love that it wasn't enough to move a mountain, save a breath, save Damon's everything._

_.-.-.-.-.-_

_**I'll continue with this past and present half and half if you want me to. But drop a hint because I've never written them before and need to know what you think?**_

_**.G**_


End file.
